Know that I am still very much in the midst of this journey myself but, I find talking to someone who is in the same place as me (rather than someone who has already surpassed) a lot more eye-opening and motivating so that is what I am here to do for you all today! I’m also not too sure how this post is going to pan out or what I’m going to say, so it might be a bit all over the place and like my thoughts are just being splattered onto the page but lets just see shall we?
In today’s society, there are so many people of all ages and genders that struggle with their mental health and while this is saddening, it is also helping others to open up and learn about how we can build ourselves back up together. However, there is a completely different side to this generation (surrounding social media) that is full of judgement, pressure and the ultimate negativity. Now, THIS obviously is not helping and probably the reason why there is a growing number of young people developing self-esteem issues that we need to be able to get rid of and replace with the self-love we all deserve!
For as long as I can remember, I have been pretty damn uncomfortable – to say the least – in my own skin. It’s been a constant battle that, for far too long, the defeatist side of me has won. But I’ve had enough of the self-loathing, never-ending paranoia and stress I have put myself through for years upon years and I want it to change. I’ve accepted that it’ll be a long journey and that it’s going to take some real grafting alongside an abundance of sweat and tears I’m sure – but I’m going to do it. And most importantly, I want to take it with you so we can work and grow together!
When talking to my friends, I come across one common thing…they feel embarrassed, anxious and doubtful of themselves but to me, they are some of the most loving, caring and amazing people to be friends with so why on earth would they see it different? It’s something I’m currently trying to get my head round – why do we second judge ourselves? Why do we assume people won’t like us? Why do I feel like an outcast wherever I am?
Comparing ourselves to our favourite bloggers, a Vogue model or a Grammy winning singer is a huge problem. In fact, comparing ourselves to anyone is so toxic for our own self-esteem because no one is the in the same position in life as one another. Think about it…you’re never going to seek out someone who is similar to you anyway because then you can’t compare and get the negative comments you aimed for (which sounds awful). Your favourite blogger has been writing 5 years longer than you, that Vogue model has had years of experience and the singer has had lessons upon lessons to further their career (there are obviously exceptions and much more other scenarios but that’s for another day) so of course it wouldn’t make sense to compare ourselves to them! They’re doing them so you should being doing YOU!
Our worth needs to be acknowledged and praised by none other than ourselves. Those flaws you tell yourself you have, guess what, every single person has flaws. It’s normal. It’s life. Please do not beat yourself up because you’re getting less engagement than usual, because you forgot to text your friend back or you had to cancel last-minute plans because you feel anxious. These are all such small things that we shouldn’t let bring us down. There is no ‘perfect human’ so start accepting that you, as you are now, are amazing and you should appreciate yourself like your best friend. Accepting yourself also doesn’t mean that you are stuck like this, all it means is that you’re okay with the person you are at all times. You can change and you can work on yourself further and reach the goals you want and you will also love the person you are then.
Don’t depend on others to see how great you are, that’s all on you lovelies! You don’t need other people to accept you, you need YOU to accept you. If you focus on trying to prove something to someone, it’ll end up in tears and disappointment which is not what we need. Who cares if a random stranger on the street looked at you funny because you did your hair different – you liked it so that is ALL that matters. Look up, smile and keep walking like the boss you are!!!
You fit in somewhere, always. If you are constantly telling yourself you’re an outcast at work or you don’t fit in at your friend’s party, it just isn’t the place for you. There are 7 billion people out there and 195 countries to explore so there is a place for anyone and everyone!
A couple of easy-fix-on-the-spot tricks I’ve learned along the way:
As I said at the start, this was a little messy but I think I got out everything I wanted. A bit of a mish-mash today but hey, that’s okay! I really hope this helps some of you wonderful people to love yourselves because you deserve it so much! If you have any advice at all, leave a lil comment to help your fellow friends out there, thanks so much for reading and make sure you have a fab day!