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A Journey Of Acceptance And Learning To Be Yourself

Know that I am still very much in the midst of this journey myself but, I find talking to someone who is in the same place as me (rather than someone who has already surpassed) a lot more eye-opening and motivating so that is what I am here to do for you all today! I’m also not too sure how this post is going to pan out or what I’m going to say, so it might be a bit all over the place and like my thoughts are just being splattered onto the page but lets just see shall we?

In today’s society, there are so many people of all ages and genders that struggle with their mental health and while this is saddening, it is also helping others to open up and learn about how we can build ourselves back up together. However, there is a completely different side to this generation (surrounding social media) that is full of judgement, pressure and the ultimate negativity. Now, THIS obviously is not helping and probably the reason why there is a growing number of young people developing self-esteem issues that we need to be able to get rid of and replace with the self-love we all deserve!

For as long as I can remember, I have been pretty damn uncomfortable – to say the least – in my own skin. It’s been a constant battle that, for far too long, the defeatist side of me has won. But I’ve had enough of the self-loathing, never-ending paranoia and stress I have put myself through for years upon years and I want it to change. I’ve accepted that it’ll be a long journey and that it’s going to take some real grafting alongside an abundance of sweat and tears I’m sure – but I’m going to do it. And most importantly, I want to take it with you so we can work and grow together!

When talking to my friends, I come across one common thing…they feel embarrassed, anxious and doubtful of themselves but to me, they are some of the most loving, caring and amazing people to be friends with so why on earth would they see it different? It’s something I’m currently trying to get my head round – why do we second judge ourselves? Why do we assume people won’t like us? Why do I feel like an outcast wherever I am?

Comparing ourselves to our favourite bloggers, a Vogue model or a Grammy winning singer is a huge problem. In fact, comparing ourselves to anyone is so toxic for our own self-esteem because no one is the in the same position in life as one another. Think about it…you’re never going to seek out someone who is similar to you anyway because then you can’t compare and get the negative comments you aimed for (which sounds awful). Your favourite blogger has been writing 5 years longer than you, that Vogue model has had years of experience and the singer has had lessons upon lessons to further their career (there are obviously exceptions and much more other scenarios but that’s for another day) so of course it wouldn’t make sense to compare ourselves to them! They’re doing them so you should being doing YOU!

Our worth needs to be acknowledged and praised by none other than ourselves. Those flaws you tell yourself you have, guess what, every single person has flaws. It’s normal. It’s life. Please do not beat yourself up because you’re getting less engagement than usual, because you forgot to text your friend back or you had to cancel last-minute plans because you feel anxious. These are all such small things that we shouldn’t let bring us down. There is no ‘perfect human’ so start accepting that you, as you are now, are amazing and you should appreciate yourself like your best friend. Accepting yourself also doesn’t mean that you are stuck like this, all it means is that you’re okay with the person you are at all times. You can change and you can work on yourself further and reach the goals you want and you will also love the person you are then.

Don’t depend on others to see how great you are, that’s all on you lovelies! You don’t need other people to accept you, you need YOU to accept you. If you focus on trying to prove something to someone, it’ll end up in tears and disappointment which is not what we need. Who cares if a random stranger on the street looked at you funny because you did your hair different – you liked it so that is ALL that matters. Look up, smile and keep walking like the boss you are!!!

You fit in somewhere, always. If you are constantly telling yourself you’re an outcast at work or you don’t fit in at your friend’s party, it just isn’t the place for you. There are 7 billion people out there and 195 countries to explore so there is a place for anyone and everyone!

A couple of easy-fix-on-the-spot tricks I’ve learned along the way:

As I said at the start, this was a little messy but I think I got out everything I wanted. A bit of a mish-mash today but hey, that’s okay! I really hope this helps some of you wonderful people to love yourselves because you deserve it so much! If you have any advice at all, leave a lil comment to help your fellow friends out there, thanks so much for reading and make sure you have a fab day!

PHOEBE ROSE - fashion, beauty, lifestyle, travel, photography blogger, blogging for beginners, blog post ideas, inspiration, motivation, mental health, how to feel positive, positivity, motivational quotes, photoshoot, poses, instagram photo ideas to take, beauty, makeup, hair, girly, style, fashion, women outfits, accepting yourself, love yourself, be you,

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35 responses to “A Journey Of Acceptance And Learning To Be Yourself”

  1. Jade says:

    I absolutely loved this post, Phoebe! Talking to you earlier and having a read of what you have to say here goes to show that you are such a beautiful, kind-hearted person. I am here for you throughout your entire journey, as your friend and as a positive motivator!

    I have a lot of love for you and I really admire and respect how much you wanted to help yourself and others.

    You’re beautiful!!

    Jade xo | http://www.simplyjadey.co.uk

  2. Kate says:

    Good on you for writing this as it was definitely something I, and I’m sure a lot of other people, needed to read! I find myself putting me down to the point where I start to push the people around me away because of my own insecurities. It’s definitely something I’m working to improve though! X

    Kate // itskaterose.com

    • Phoebe Rose says:

      I’m so glad that I can help, even just one person! I do the exact same and i’m trying to also improve this, we can do this!! I hope I could help you in any way lovely x

  3. connxvi says:

    i loooooooooooved this, so relatable, i’m definitely in need of a social media detox! need to get into a healthy sleep/morning routine, i’ve spent so much of my life going to bed at stupid times that it’s so hard to change but i will make it happen!

    please never change because you’re genuinely the most kind hearted and understanding person i’ve ever met!

    • Phoebe Rose says:

      Thank youuuu!! It’s a real struggle but you’ll get there eventually! Oh stop you’re too kind to me, thank you so much!! I’m so glad people can feel like I understand x

  4. Sneha says:

    I love, love, love this post, you have hit the nail on the head! I agree with everything you’ve said, but especially the bit about not needing others to accept you. It is a dangerous game to allow your self-worth and happiness to depend entirely on someone else’s opinion, and letting go of that is the first step to self-love and accepting who you are. This post is so beautifully written as well. 🙂 Have a great day, lovely. xx

    Sneha | lifewithsneha.com

  5. sami says:

    This was so lovely to read Phoebe. I guess each day, the older we get, you start to realise how important you really are because of our experiences in life and the obstacles we face in life. I completely agree with all the points you made and I even sometimes still find that I compare myself to celebrities and people when I’m just as good enough for myself and that’s all that matters at the end of the day. Your both so beautiful in appearance and your personality and that’s what’s so amazing! loved this girly! x

    • Phoebe Rose says:

      Thank you so much Sami!! You really do and it’s such a relief when you finally realise. Me too but I try to snap out of it because it’s quickly a dangerous road to feeling even worse. You are good enough and so so kind, thank you! x

  6. lexie says:

    Such a beautifully written piece! I think comparison is so common, even if it’s comparing yourself to a friend or a celebrity. There’s a poem by Rupi Kaur called ‘we are not each others competition,’ and it says something like ‘how do I love myself enough to know your achievements are not my failures.’ It’s something I often think about, especially when scrolling instagram and seeing everyones filtered lives. Lovee your blog and this post especially! xo
    http://www.lexiealexandra.com

    • Phoebe Rose says:

      Thank you so much! It is and it’s just draining for someone to put themselves through! I really want to read those poem books actually, they sound beautiful! Thank you lovely x

  7. “Change negatives into positives”. I like this!
    ‘Love yourself. It is important to stay positive because beauty comes from the inside out.’
    ~ Jenn Proske

    https://www.aboutarthritisblog.com/biofreeze-review/

  8. Fran says:

    Beautifully written post Phoebe, very thought-provoking and gorgeous photos too, as usual! Changing negatives into positive is something I struggle with but try to do at least once a day but sometimes student life can make everything seem negative when there are copious deadlines and little time. Comparison is the thief of joy, your life is different from the celebrity or person you are comparing yourself to, and what they have may not be something you are able to have at the moment e.g. millions in your bank account to go on holiday every other day but it is something that you can set as a goal and attain in the future. Nothing is out of your reach! Taking regular breaks from social media is a great way to avoid comparison

    • Phoebe Rose says:

      Thank you Fran! Exactly, unfortunately the education system really doesn’t help these days with so much pressure being added every day. It really is, it clouds your thoughts to stop you from thinking beyond now – to times where you could be achieving those things. I can’t stress enough how good it is for you to take breaks, it’s helped me so much! x

  9. Rose says:

    I applaud you for going on this journey! It is so important that all of us do. Comparing ourselves makes us unhappy. It brings about so much negative selftalk. We also give off the message that we are not worthy of something when we think like that.
    It’s good that you realized this so early on. I wish I had!
    I loved that you said that it is you and you only that should acknowledge that worth. And as for depending on others.. i think true happiness can only come from within us. So , if we detach from getting that outside confirmation, it’s like winning the lottery. Because you can be proud of who you are and other’s people’s opinions won’t matter as much.

    • Phoebe Rose says:

      Thanks so much lovely! It really is and I want to help as many people as possible to join this journey with me because I realise how many people are struggling out there! I’m glad I have, it’s been quite a few long years so it’ll be hard but I’m hoping to come out the other side! Exactly, a little more self care goes a long way! x

  10. Loved reading this! I’m so bad at comparing myself to other people and getting really down about how much better their lives are than me. Definitely needed to read this today, thank you for writing such a relatable post x

    https://iamstephaniejay.co.uk

  11. Aaliyah says:

    Really love this post! I have had trouble recently trying to accept myself for all different reasons and it’s hard to get over that but sometimes I need a post like this to realise that I shouldn’t compare myself to others! X
    Lovely photos too x

  12. I love this post! I’m actually going to a concert by myself next week and I can’t wait, I went to a art gallery by myself as a first step and next a concert and after that hopefully solo travelling. This was a really sweet post and definitely self boosting!
    With Love Yossy x

    • Phoebe Rose says:

      Thanks so much girl! That’s amazing, I hope you have the best time!! Step by step is the way to go, progress takes a long time but it’s always worth it! Glad I could spread some light x

  13. Lauren says:

    Well done you for writing this. It must have been difficult. You are absolutely beautiful and deserve to feel good about yourself. I often compare myself to airbrushed magazines too, it can be so damaging!

    • Phoebe Rose says:

      Thank you so much, that means a lot!! It was a struggle but knowing that I could help other people feeling the same way got me through it! You’re so kind, remember the same for yourself lovely! It’s a vicious cycle that’s hard to get out of but by no means impossible x

  14. Cassiethehag says:

    I just took a year off social media and honestly that’s a great tip – it’s important to remind ourselves that it’s not the be all and end all. Great read 😊

  15. Nancy says:

    I’m so happy that you’ve started the journey to be yourself and accept yourself for who you are! It’s important for people to be comfortable with themselves. Comparison brings so much negativity. While it’s great to feel inspired by it, there can be some consequences because of certain factors (like my level 4 might someone else’s level 20). YES on independence! Hope you’ll continue to go strong with this journey :).

    exquisitely.me

  16. Aleeha Ali says:

    I’m definitely guilty of comparing myself to others, especially throughout school with grades. I really need to stop though because it has meant that I now have such little confidence!
    Aleeha xXx
    https://www.halesaaw.co.uk/

  17. Utibeno says:

    This is so accurate. On point and much needed.

  18. Nina Alexis says:

    Thanks Phoebe, for creating this post. It rings true to me. From time to time I used to compare myself. Thinking why am I not like this or why can’t I look like them. The thing I have come to realize is that I am not them. This simple way of thinking has helped me in the long run.

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